I think about my self-worth like a bank account: there are behaviors that can top it up and others that can deplete it. When someone makes me feel despair, it serves two purposes: it reveals my emotional balance and prompts me to investigate the source of that despair and how to resolve it.

Imagine if I had understood this at the beginning of my life—what a revelation!

Emotions are vital. Our interpretations of them form the basis of our beliefs, which shape our thoughts and behaviors, creating a cycle that reinforces those beliefs.

When someone treats us poorly and we feel despair, it’s easy to interpret this without much context, leading us to believe we are unlovable. However, this only solidifies into a core belief if our thoughts and behaviours support it. For instance, we might think we upset the person and that it’s our responsibility to make them feel better. In doing so, we inadvertently reinforce the belief that we deserve mistreatment, and our self-worth diminishes.

Conversely, someone else might experience the same feeling of despair but interpret it differently. They might recognize that someone’s horrible behaviour isn’t a valid source of love, leading them to prioritize their own well-being. In this case, despair becomes a protective tool, helping to safeguard their self-worth and replenish their emotional bank account.

Bennie’s emotional bank account was seriously in the red when he began Genius You. The good news is that it’s never too late to get it sorted.