How to show better restraint in a trigger moment
By Simone-Ellen Keller
In the area of leadership and public responsibility, instances of individuals succumbing to moments of intense emotion are not isolated incidents. The pressures and expectations placed upon those in such roles can often lead to expressions of anger and frustration. However, this is not solely a challenge faced by those in the public eye. In any high-pressure environment, the likelihood of emotional outbursts increases, and the consequences can be significant, ranging from loss of employment to tarnished reputations and strained relationships.
As someone with expertise in personal transformation and emotional intelligence, I've seen firsthand how understanding and constructively channeling emotions can not only prevent such fallout but also enhance personal and professional growth. Contrary to the traditional reliance on sheer willpower and strict adherence to guidelines, mastering one's emotional landscape is a more effective approach. Emotions, when understood and harnessed properly, can become a powerful asset rather than a liability.
In scenarios where individuals have felt wronged or powerless, the immediate response is often one of anger or frustration. This is a natural defense mechanism, steering us away from more vulnerable, core emotions such as powerlessness or fear. However, this shift towards defensive emotions can cloud judgment and lead to rash actions. Recognising the underlying core emotion is the first step towards constructive handling of the situation. By acknowledging and addressing this core emotion, one can redirect their response and approach the situation with a more balanced and effective strategy.
For those looking to better manage their emotional responses, especially in high-stakes environments, consider the following strategies:
1. Deepen Emotional Understanding:
Cultivate a keen awareness of your emotional landscape. Recognise the difference between defensive emotions, which are immediate and often reactionary, and core emotions, which are fundamental and revealing of deeper feelings or needs.
2. Shift Focus from Defense to Core Emotions:
If you are doing something repeatedly, like getting angry, you are responding to your defence emotions rather than resolving the problem with an understanding of the core emotion.
3. Move Beyond Willpower and Rules:
While discipline and guidelines have their place, they are not sufficient in managing emotional responses. Emotions are an intrinsic part of the human experience. Embracing and understanding them is crucial. Use emotions as a tool to guide and inform your actions and decisions.
By approaching emotional management from this perspective, not only are we better equipped to handle high-pressure situations, but we also pave the way for more constructive interactions and outcomes. This approach underscores the importance of emotional intelligence in both personal and professional realms, highlighting it as a skill of immense value.