Personal Development
Personal Development is seen by many as a young industry. I beg to differ.
When we developed our cognitive function 70,000 years ago, personal development was born. We started the process, albeit in a rudimentary form, of developing our extraordinary minds in our search for inner peace, our quest for brilliance and our pursuit of happiness.
By no means have we have perfected the art of personal development, even today. Why? Because we can’t experience the benefits immediately. We get frustrated, give up, doubt ourselves, or just don’t ‘get it’.
Now 70,000 years may sound like a long time, but compare it to a shark that has been around for 450,000,000 years. That’s a long time to get good at being a shark. We are still in our infancy when it comes to getting good with our minds.
Personal development includes all the activities that allow us to explore, extend and execute.
We can chunk it up this way:
Spiritual – connection to true self
Mental – growing our mind
Physical – exercise, eating, sleeping
Societal – communication and connectedness
Emotional – learning how to use our emotions positively.
Too often, we gravitate in the opposite direction of where we need to go and instead move to where we are comfortable. We end up expanding in the areas we’re already good at and neglect the things that need attention. Dealing with these ‘things’ makes us fricken uncomfortable and far from happy.
Now here is the, ‘but wait, there’s more’ moment.
We begin the think cognitively at around 18 months old. From that point, we’re trying to figure ourselves out and taking our first personal development steps. But understandably, it’s all a bit random and by the time we come round to doing it a planned and sustained way, we’ve developed some pretty robust ‘defence systems.’
Now a ‘defence system’ works by moving us away from an emotion that we see as a threat. it does this by implementing a programmed response that effectively creates a new emotion.
So, we end up thinking our way out of examining the things we need to explore because they evoke uncomfortable emotions. We use our cognitive ability to rationalise, justify and avoid going into the territories which make us feel vulnerable, shamed, inadequate and unwanted.
Let me give you an example. I’m a deep thinker, so learning something new is exciting, stimulating and affirming. I feel good. I’m confident. But put me in a gym and suddenly, my strut and confidence goes. I feel vulnerable because I can’t be the clever woman I think I am. So while you may say my intellect is strong and robust, you can’t say the same about my thighs – and this is where the work is needed.
Let me summarise:
Our cognitive prowess means we are driven to be better, fulfilled and happy.
We have developed defense systems that prevent us from achieving the above.
These defence systems keep us away from the territories we need to explore.
I believe that the essential attributes for personal development are a significant serving of bravery, complemented by generous portions of determination. They allow us to push into areas of being uncomfortable and threatened.
Here’s another example. For me, the prospect of becoming financially savvy triggers emotions of embarrassment, fear and vulnerability. Then my defence systems kicks in, which leads to avoidance.
To examine these defences, we need to see the patterns in our defence system and learn how to handle some pretty heavy emotions that we have been stockpiling, in some cases, for decades.
Is this hard work? You bet. But by tapping into your bravery, engaging a guide and adopting a process, you’ll develop an understanding of what’s really going on.
When we have the tools of understanding, insight and skills, personal development takes off. It doesn’t mean that we master everything. It’s ok to be competent at most things and brilliant at some! And all this means our emotions are working for us, even those that make us feel uncomfortable. So, it’s goodbye defence systems and hello personal development.