Learning how to lead with self!
Learning always starts with questions
Who calls the shots in your life?
How do you decide what’s important and what’s not?
Who or what leads the way?
So many questions! And here are a couple more...
Do you have absolute clarity about what your priorities are?
And more to the point, are you able to action them?
I’m betting the answers for most people are NO.
So, what’s the problem?
Beliefs, thoughts and behaviours
If you’ve read any of my posts before, you’ll be aware that I bang on a bit about programming. So bear with me.
We have built-in responses to most situations that we experience. Default behaviours that are triggered by our emotions, directed by our thoughts, and sparked by our beliefs.
The problem is, when the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us are negative, distorted, unrealistic or upside down (take your pick) we’re not going to be in for a good time.
Our emotional triggers can result in behaviours that are corrosive, destructive and a hindrance at best. They may not always be extreme, but they get in the way of us being our ‘brilliant best’.
So what does this all have to do with self-prioritisation?
First of all, self-prioritisation is a good thing. It ensures that your needs are paramount. It enables you to lead a life of deep satisfaction. And it means that you’re in charge of your destiny.
It doesn’t mean being self-serving or thinking you’re more important than others.
Here’s an example. You believe that the needs of others are more important than your own. This has been instilled in you since you’re almost too young to remember – ‘don’t be selfish’, ‘think of others first’, ‘it’s not all about you’. ‘It’s not right to put yourself at the head of the queue’.
You’ve accepted all this as gospel and it has resulted in you putting more energy into helping others to meet their needs.
And if you start thinking about self-prioritisation you generate a raft of rationalisations/excuses/justifications for inaction:
I’m too busy right now
It’s crazy at work
It can wait until next year
The kids are really demanding at the moment
Can’t afford it
It’s going to be too hard
I’ll probably stuff up
Reprogramming
Reset your beliefs and expectations of self-prioritisation:
Focus on being your ‘brilliant best’; it’s ok to be vulnerable; it doesn’t need to be at the ‘expense’ of others – in fact, you’ll actually be better placed to help others self-prioritise
Express emotions consistent with your new beliefs:
Positive, uplifting, confident, (guilt-free)
Display behaviours that are forward-thinking
Decisive, consistent, resilient, bold
OK, I’ve given you the theory. Or to put it another way, a pathway, one that’s best taken with a guide. There is a need for scrutiny, support, feedback and confirmation.
That is what I can offer and for me it’s self-prioritisation in action.